I don't really make resolutions. The very idea always seems laughable. Instead as the beginning of a new year looms I reflect on what has changed in my life over the past year and think what was great and what could have been better. Was a bad at managing my time? Did I discover I really enjoyed a new book genre? Did I suck at remembering to say thank you for both the good and the bad things that taught me lessons? Was this year a year I would want to repeat?
In the end I find a few things that I was happy about to be even better at or something I didn't get around to doing that this new year should be the year for. So don't call these resolutions because really they aren't... they're just thinks I want to reflect on a year from now as having improved in my life.
It's silly and simple but at the very top of my list because I suck at it. If it isn't filled with black gold I don't wanna drink it. Water is just so... watery. blah! But so important for better health. In 2012 I want to be a better drinker and hand-in-hand be better about moisturizing my skin too. In 2011 I started rethinking my eating habits and how I fed my family. The improvements were wonderful but I could do with a bit more water rich fruit too.
#2. Getting Dressed
What can I say? I'm a stay-at-home mom. The ONLY true perk of the job? Pajamas can be your uniform. But should they? For years now I've used the excuse it saves laundry and it's comfortable which are both fine but it has a psychological effect I don't like. I don't notice it until I bother to get dressed and fix my hair on any random given day we have errands or something. Then I feel just a little more human. lol
#3. The Garage
Our house is 3 times the size of our former apartment. We rented a small storage unit while apartment bound for some of our extra furniture and such. The apartment was supposed to be a six month living situation that had turned into 7 years. So how is we managed to fill our two car garage with so much crap since we bought this house? This year we were supposed to have it organized and car-ready for winter. Uhm yeah, still hasn't happened. *facepalm* It's scary how messy it is. In 2012 we HAVE to do something about it before winter.
#4. Buying What I Need
I grew up very poor. It's a source of personal issues with money I struggle to deal with still. One of those is that I learned that my needs were below those of others. Putting the happiness of everyone above my own is a problem I am learning to overcome in moderation. My husband recently chided me for my shoe selection. I own one ratty pair of Chuck Taylors, a few cheap pairs of flipflops, a pair of cheap velvet flats, my ancient gym sneakers, and just bought a clearance pair of boots at Old Navy. They're all black save for the flipflops (only 2 pairs of those are black). You see a trend here?
This year I'm going to make it a goal to buy at least two things I need without second guessing whether one of the kids needs something (honestly they never do 'cause I always go overboard with them) or if the hubs needs more video games or fish tank crap. If I need a coat or shoes I WILL buy them for myself. I will. Really. Okay this is already making me panic but I'm going to work on this. By year's end I want to feel better about putting my needs first once in a while.
#5. Fearing Others
Another bad habit I picked up from the people who raised me is an intense need to gain the approval of others. Over the past decade I've improved a lot. I have more self confidence than I ever had in the first 3 decades of my life. But I've hit a bit of a wall. Both online as a blogger and in my personal life I've found a few areas I continue to hold back in for fear of rejection, critisism, or simply offending people. I've been letting certain people intimidate me or held back from being truly honest because confrontation or tension are a guaranteed result. But is it really worth it? Not really. Not when in my heart of hearts I want to make new friends or tell a bully to back off. Not when it's holding me back from being more true to myself or taking risks worth big reward. 2012 is the year of the Dragon, I need to embrace that Dragon spirit a bit and be bolder, command more attention.